”You can't trust vampires. Trust me.'' -Edward Cullen

MRRRRRRRR.

How evil of me.

Here I am, laying in bed, trying to sleep, and suddenly I sit up, gasp, and realize that I have not blogged since August.

Well. BOO ME. :P

So. How has life been? Everything's been good over here ... between you, me, and whoever else in the world reads this, my life's been kinda indescribable lately. Not like it hasn't been uneventful. Nopers, the drama, giggles, blood, sweat, and tears of life still exist. Buuut, it's hard to put everything down on ... virtual paper, ya know? Aroogulahh. I need a blogging shrink or something. Hah. :P

Mmhmm, so the orchestra thing didn't happen. But I'm cool with that :]. Just wish I could be more involved with music than I already am.

Oh. One major new thing going on for the next 300+ days ... I'm 16 years old as of December 21st :]. Purdee exciting actuallyyy. :D

So, you know how someone once said that being away from those you love for a while only makes you love them more, and it makes you happy in the end? Well. That person was SICK and TWISTED. Haha. But seriously now. I am going out of my mind here. If it weren't for the random texts and emails, I would begin to wonder if they ever really existed. Especially him. It's been 7 months ... it might sound crazy, but I can't think of him. It makes my heart hurt.

I think I finally get Bella in New Moon. The only differences being that my ''Edward'' isn't a vampire (well, last I heard he wasn't XD), Bella and Edward were thousands of miles apart ... he and I are 25 minutes apart, and I don't have a hot, buff werewolf friend to help me commiserate. Ugh. Boo you Bella Swan. BOO. YOU.

Is it weird of me to miss him this much? Augh. Sometimes I think I'm crazy.

HEY! I think I'm getting the hang of blogging again! I should do this moment of venting onto virtual paper more often, no? :」

And with that, I bid ye goodnight and pleasant dreams. :」

M

HAN: "what's up Meggie?" MEG: "I JUST finished writing my first real breakup song ever. How's THAT for closure?" XDD

Ahhh yes. The insanity of song-writing. :)

CURRENT DILLEMAS IN THE LIFE OF ONE MISS MEGAN BRITTANY ...

- I currently have $3.72 in my possession and need $7.38 more for dance class tomorrow night. Shoot.
- Vacation is JUST around the corner and I am broke and will see many things I want to spend moolahh on. Double shoot.


But these and many other issues that I don't feel like naming are no biggie, because after all, for a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic. :)))

Which reminds me that I am now officially addicted to Paramore's "Riot!" CD ... it's quite amazing. Check it out. I mean it. GO. NOW! :) juuuuust kidding, you can stick around for a bit more if you'd like:))

Songwriting, as you may have noticed, is going pretty darn amazingly ... I'm finding that my music is maturing along with me, and I really like that. It's not always about "boy meets girl and they fall in love" or "it's all hours of the night but I can't sleep cause I can't live without you". Music is all about expressing who you really are. If I write a song, and it teaches you nothing about me, how I feel sometimes, or what I'm thinking about, then it's pretty pointless. I like music I can relate to ... and I find that the best way to find one of those songs is to mess around on the piano until you find a key combination you like, add lyrics, and POOF! You've got yourself a song:)

^ ^ sorry for my rambling ... hmmm ... that should all be a song itself ... haha:)

Speaking of music ...............

I'm one foot in the door for percussion in my church's orchestra!:DDDD I am TOTALLLY stoked about that, because rhythm and I are bestest buddies. I'm also considering becoming a drummer ... like, outside of Guitar Hero lol ... what do you think? I wanna learn everything from the ground up, so that when I get the stuff to start recording my music, I'm ready and roaring to go!:)

So, last Friday I FINALLY made it to dance class! It was INCREDIBLY fun, and tomorrow night, we're learning how to do clogging! (And, um, that actually doesn't have much to do with clogs ... more like wooden elf shoes with silver tappy things on the bottom of the heels and toes lol ... we watched a demonstration of it last Friday, and it was AMAZINGLY fun-looking! So I will be taking that up tomorrow night ... I am soooooooo happy that I finally made it!:DDD

btw: Polka = THE BOMB!!!!!:DDDDDDDD

Me and Rachel had a sleepover after dance class at her house ... it was soooo much fun!! We were up until like 6 in the morning haha ... I'll do that again ANY day!:)))))

I also can't wait for ballroom dancing again, because sadly, Sam and his family were on vacation (erm, not sad for them, obviously lol) and so couldn't come:( buuuuut I'm really hoping that me actually showing up and going regularly might be an incentive for him to come too ... getting to see almost all of my bestest friends EVER would be quite a treat. :DDDDDDD and, of course, that might mean getting to dance with the one guy who makes my heart stop beating ... ;)

I should probably stop before I go rambling again. HAHA

peaceee<3outttt

luvv,

MeGaN
<33>

back to Megan's childhood!! ((part one)) :]]

BEHOLD;; Valley Forge Park ... just ten minutes from where I grew up. I sat with Renee on those logs about seven years ago. Crazy, innit? :]]

It's AMAZING to see everything now ... next time we journey to Pennsylvania I wanna make sure I have my camera ready to go so I can share with you some of my more special places in the little town of Bridgeport, PA :]]] I don't know if I've said this before or not, but my grandparent's house is JUST up the street from the house in which I spent the first ten years of my life. Me and my mom were on our way to the wedding my dad was in ((Renee and Hannah decided to stay back with Gran and Pop)) and someone came walking out of our old house. So I, in all my Megan-ness, turn to my mom and say "That man just walked out of our house!!". Haha. I'm strange even to myself sometimes. XD

The ride home was interesting to say the least. It involved me and Renee having a very deep conversation in pirate about Kraft singles, Hannah randomly waking up from her slumber and singing a few bars of whatever song was on at the time and then falling right back asleep again, and me yelling "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!" at the rest stop. Oh yeshhh. Our road trips are interesting to say the least. XD

Honestly, the only low note to the entire trip was coming home to find that our house had been taken over completely by FLEAS. Seriously. It was SUPER icky!! I sat on the couch after unloading the van and saw a flea on my leg, so I picked it off only to be distracted by three other ones down to my feet, where there were fleas all over my socks and ankles. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!! We set a pest-killing bomb off in the living room that night. Haha. That did a LITTLE bit of good ... we can sit on the couch without having to pick dozens of fleas off our socks. :]]

Sooooo vacation is coming up :]] ... we spend the first week of September in Nag's Head ... it's AWESOME there! I can't wait!! :DDD

... and that says it all :]]

peaceee:]]outtt

wuvv,
~ MeGaN
<33 XDDD

when you love someone more than air, every breath makes you think of them:)

:DDDD

Yes. You must be thinking one thing right now, looking at this blog post ...

MEGAN IS BAAAAAACK!:D

haha. Sorry if I'm wayyyy off there.

you MIGHT be thinking ''DARN THAT MEGAN BRITTANY FOR MAKING ME WAIT SO LONG FOR ANOTHER BLOG POSTY!! GRRRRR!!!!!!"

...

I hope that's not what you're thinking, to be honest. XD

So, what's up??? I've missed you all! I've got a LOT of catching up to do both on my own blog AND on everyone else's. Hopefully, all you blog-crazy bloggers haven't written TOO much in my absence.

Oh who am I kidding. I'll be sitting here all night!!:)

So let's cover one topic at a time, shall we?:)

-------------

RENEE'S GRADUATION...

That was a while ago, and lemme tell ya ... it was BORING!:) Buuut I did stand up when she got on stage and yelled, as loud as I could: "I LOVE YOU NAY-NAY!". Haha. She lectured me for that one. Just kidding:)
There was ONE drawback on that, and that was the presence of her ex, then bf, now ex again. Geez. I do NOT like him AT ALL. I'm really praying that they're over for real this time, cause I'd hate to see her get back together with him, for more than the reason that I don't like him, all of which are personal.
Overall it was sad, happy, fun, boring, made me wanna sleep, and musical ((I listened to my iPod for letters C through G:D haha)). That night Nay and I stayed up until 3AM, just talking. About EVERYTHING. We haven't done that in forever. It was nice:)


WRITING...

On a writing note, I have completed ((but not yet edited)) by NaNoWriMo novel, entitled ''Star Breather''. If you wanna read it, check out www.mng1starbreather.blogspot.com. ((If that link isn't correct, just go to my blog list and click on Star Breather.)) I probably already said that, so if this is the second time, then I apologize:)
I am currently behind on ALL of my writing except for ONE storyline, because ... erm ... OKAY, I'LL SAY IT!!!! I broke my computer. Yeshh. NEVER pull a wire out of a computer tower if you can't get it out at first. Grrrr. It's terrible. I've been without a computer for months now. So I am currently working on a paper and pen project entitled "Little Blue Book", the story of my alter ego and favorite invented character, Lacy Burrows. I shall elaborate later, because I think it's worth elaborating on:)
I am working out the odds and ends in numerous storylines whilst I am without a working writing base. I would continue everything on paper, but I have no recollection whatsoever of where I've left off in ANY of them, thus can't continue a single novel. *Sigh*. Oh the sorrows of a Megan Brittany:)


CHURCH...

Our new church is AMAZING. I really can't put into words how much I love it there. We ((the youth group)) just recently went on the annual Summer Camp trip to Myrtle Beach, SC from Sunday to Friday last week. Lemme tell you, that was one of the most AMAZING weeks of my life. I will NEVER EVER forget it:) I was sociable for once ((haha)), and made a few new friends. But most importantly, I learned new things that will really help me in my walk with God, now and the rest of my life:) Again, that's worth elaborating on, so I'll give every detail I can at a later time.


TRAVELING...

I am currently typing from my grandparent's PC in Pennsylvania. My dad is in a wedding up here tomorrow, so we're here till tomorrow night.
Which reminds me ...
We have to be back for church on Sunday because Renee plays percussion ((sp?)) in the church orchestra, and has to be there for the concert. Alas, I did not get a solo for the YPAC musical all those months ago ((darnnnn!)) but it was still beautiful and amazing:) Renee is currently pulling strings to get me in the orchestra too as her backup percussion person, because the girl who currently does it is ... well ... she's ticking everyone off haha. I'm really kinda hoping that I get in, cause I really think that would be amazing!:D


FAMILY...

Well ... not a single one is perfect, right?:) We've had our ups and downs, but as of now, my parents are still together, my sister is home, and I am pretty content with life at the moment:)


LOVE...

Oh dear. Haha. I knew I had to get to this eventually.
What can I say? I really am head over heels. I can't even control it anymore. Sure, every so often, I'll see someone in a movie or somewhere else and think ''oo, he's CUTE!:D'', but when I get home at the end of the day, and I'm laying there in bed thinking about all the cuties ((haha!)), I still smile widest when I think of Sam. He's been my best friend for what seems like a lifetime ... and we could be best friends forever ... but I realize now that I'll always feel this way about him. It's unavoidable at this rate. Completely unaviodable.
And, oddly enough ...
I'm okay with that:)
We haven't really talked about it, and I've only seen him once, at Renee's graduation sign-up. That was one of the most awkward moments of my life. We both just sort of stood and stared at our feet. When they all went to sign Renee in, we stayed back, and never even talked. I'll be honest, at first I freaked out, thinking that he never wanted to speak to me again, but then I realized that we'd been talking briefly before that, and it must have had the same effect on him that it did on me when we actually SAW each other for the first time since I told him that I love him.
Haha. That's sort of funny to type. But not in a bad way. Haha. Not at ALL. I love him.
Haha.
I love Sam.
HAHA!
What is WRONG with me?!
HA!


MUSIC...

I'm still writing songs, and actually, during Summer Camp, there's a talent show on Thursday night, and I sang one of my songs during it. When someone FINALLY gets it on Facebook, I'll see if I can upload it onto here so you all can see it:) My mom told me that she feels like the mom of a rockstar because so many people from church were telling her how awesome I was. I personally don't think it was THAT good, but that's what everyone keeps telling me. Haha. I MIGHT EVEN BE A ROCKSTAAR! I MIGHT EVEN BE A ROCKSTAAAAAAAR! <--- that's SILLY. XD


FRIENDS...

I still have all of my besties:) I love them all more than they will EVAHH know:) oh, and if you still comment and have been following me all this time, I shall consider you the coolest person in the world. No joke. Haha:) I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:DDD
I have a few new friends too, so I'm feeling somewhat more sociable than shy, which is how everyone sees me. That makes me happyy:)


THEND...

If I think of anything else to update you on, I will post it with no delay:) ((unless of course someone is on the computer already ... haha:)))

p.s. - FRIEND REQUEST ME ON FACEBOOK:DD:: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profile.php?id=566555863&ref=name
make sure to add a personal message saying who you be ((e.g.- hey it's blahblahblahh from Blogger:))) ... I don't do stalkerss;)

LOVE YA!!!

peacee:)outtt

~ MeGaN
<33 XDD

not dead QUITE yet:)

Okay, so I didn't die or disappear into thin air or anything:)

Just letting you know that. Hahaha

I'll elaborate later:)

LOVE YA!

~ MeGaN
<33 XD

"Well Meg, either way, your initials would be MBM ..."

Haha ... Hannah said that earlier today ... please don't ask xD

Sooooo super quick update:

- Sam and I had an email conversation like nothing ever happened. Yay!
- This fact brings me joy and a smidgen of sadness
- April 21st was the one year anniversary of Jeremy emailing me and telling me he likes me
- I don't care at all about the above statement. YAY!!!!
- My choir concert is this Sunday
- I am super nervous but even more excited
- I will most likely have a dream about tripping and falling off the stage Saturday night
- My mom is going to have me do singing lessons this summer
- My closet is a mess haha
- I know that I love someone with my whole heart <33 =) ahhh yesss
- I am currently blaring Paramore and BarlowGirl. Wo-ow. xD
- And I love youuu!! =D

loveee
MeGaN!
<33 xD

House arrest

People of the world, I implore you ... if you have a social life, KEEP YOUR ROOMS CLEAN!!!!!

I am under house arrest. Ugh.

But that's okay ... get everything done and I can do stuff.

Yay!

Cause I really wanna be able to go to dance class. And not jinx anything. Muahaha.

So I should get offline before I get into any more trouble ...

loveee
MeGaN! <33 xD

Crazier

*INSERT PICTURE HERE*

I LOOOOOOOVE Taylor Swift's song "Crazier"!!! The only problem? There's no one to waltz with =( ahhh well. Leaves more room for daydreaming. =)

So yes, I learned a very important life lesson this week ... when a wire refuses to come out of the back of your computer tower ... do NOT pull on it until it does.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I broke my computer.

YIKES!!!

But that's okayyy ... thankfully, my dad works with someone who is a computer guru, so he's gonna see if he can fix it for me.

Yay!

Cause I miss it something awful. I haven't been able to write anything in about a week ... *SHOCK!*

I might not make it. Haha

I don't write with pen and paper, cause then I'm only going to have to type it onto my computer anyways, cause no one in the universe can read my terrible handwriting. Which is one of the reasons why typing things and then having your friend print them out and give them to the person they are addressed to is a loverly option. =)

Hehe.

But I have resolved to the evils of the pen-and-paper world in order to try and complete Script Frenzy. The script is pretty awesome so far ... I honestly didn't think it would be this easy. The only downfall? I can't share it with anyone without sitting here for about an hour typing it onto my blog. =( blehhhhh.

Plus. I want a cookie. And we have no cookies. xO

Oh the woes of the dayyy.

But that's okay ... Heidi and I had to cancel last week's ice cream adventure (haha), but we rescheduled it for today. I'm really excited for that!!!

Renee turns 18 on Monday!!!! There'll be a special post here that day for zat, so check it outtt!!

Ooo. And I think it's funny how the other night at church this random dude introduced himself to me and smiled a lot. Bwaha. That was so Jeremy-ish I almost didn't make it.

But that's okayyyyyyyyyyy. I'm on hold. And happy about it. =D

Blog ya laterr!!

loveee
MeGaN!
<33 xD

Relief

God, I trust You

Go ahead
Take what You want to
Take what You need to
Don't let me hold You back ...

Those are Fireflight's lyrics, not mine! =)

So the relief is knowing that the world is still spinning ... haha. And that even if it were to stop, I'd still be okay. I'm no longer stressing (not like I was stressing to begin with ... psh ... =) ) ... just waiting I guess. By the way, the song is "Go Ahead" by Fireflight, and I LOOOOOOVE it! Those words struck me, and, at least in the secret that's no longer a secret department, they stuck with me, and those words are the theme song of those moments when I second-guess myself.

Plus, I have theories, which will remain unsaid until further notice. =)


Thanks for sticking with me through my nearly-unbearable and slightly mental craziness. =)

loveeeee,
MeGaN! <33>

Anxiety

The picture really has nothing to do with the post ... I was looking for something different on Flickr, and I found this ... I love it!

So last night was okay ... I wasn't as social as I wanted to be, but everyone had a friend, and it felt rude of me to just walk up and start talking to them when they're talking about stuff they did last year ... yeah. Kinda awkward. And then when I was actually invited to do stuff personally, I held back. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just hoping that my mom will say yes to the other sleepover, cause I need to be around people I know for a change. That'd be nice.

The dreams pursue. Renee putting in her Carrie Underwood CD didn't help much ... Just A Dream was the last song I wanted to hear. I don't know. So many things I wish I could look ahead and see what's going to happen.

For example ... the random thing I did yesterday is rushing at me at the speed of light. Good golly. I didn't think I would have this much anxiety as to what happens next. Or maybe that's fear ...

Either or, I feel slightly sick.

Ah, how I always pictured the random scenarios ... definitely not like how it actually happened. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea ... but I honestly don't think it was mine. I have no idea why I decided to do it, or why I went this route, or much of anything, to be blank.

And maybe it's time to wrap this post up before I say anything else as a random side note that could alter the course of my future. =)

loveee

MeGaN! <33>

A secret that's not really a secret

I am SOOOO not completely honoring my decision not to date. Well, technically I am, but this isn't helping, exactly. I just can't think around it. It's always been there, always waiting for me, I suppose. GOSHHHH.

Whenever I picture myself with someone, I think of one person. And I can't think around that one person. Just him. No one else.

But let's put this into perspective, shall we? ... What if he doesn't feel the same way, and I've been imagining things from the start? What if there's someone else out there? Or worse ... what if he finds someone else?

Grrr.

Okay. Then I guess my life wouldn't END ... I mean, it'd be fine, right?

Right?

RIGHT?

Now let's switch that around. What if, in thinking on the mindset that there's no way that he likes me back, he actually DOES, and thinks that I don't like him, and moves on?! UGHHHH.

I guess the best thing to do would be to just ... tell him and see what happens? Maybe he already knows ... I mean, it doesn't take a genius to figure out. I'm just paranoid of losing him, cause he means SO MUCH to me ... gersh. This is a win-lose situation, in which winning and losing would both mean everything.

Which leads me to the point ... I'm just gonna do it. And be brave. Definitely brave. And whatever he says is what happens next. No matter what, I NEVER want to lose him as a friend. I'd settle for just that and fight off liking him for the rest of time if that's what he wanted me to do. And I'd live ... that would just mean that there's someone else out there, just waiting for me, just like I'd be waiting for him.

Okay. It comes down to this.

Rachel, this is where you come in ... Wednesday night. Just let him read this. And I apologize ... this is soooooo weird-awkward-yikes-ish. But I don't think I can keep this all inside for much longer. That's just what happens when a girl tries to contain a whole buncha love. She bursts. And she regrets it, but she bursts. And she kinda wanted to tell him face to face, but is too much of a chicken. Yupp. There. I said it. I like you. A lot. I mean, I think I love you. Well, I don't think. I know. No matter what. Yupp. Me. Megan.

See? That wasn't so hard .... *talking to myself*

Haha.

Wow.

Just like that.

Yupp.

I type weird things when I get nervous. I also hiccup ... I don't know why, I just do.

And just like that *snaps fingers*, five years of secrecy down the drain. Wahooo! That's a lift off my shoulders ...

Geez, am I being insensitive. Now I've just either blown it big time, and he never wants to speak to me again, or he's gone into shocked and being rushed to the hospital, or possibly skipping around in a circle singing.

...

Yepp, we're gonna go with #2. Oh dang. Look what I've done!

Okay. Now it's done. If I have anything more to say, well ... it's coming up here later, believe me.

peace and loveee

MeGaN! <33>

(cannot believe what she's just done xO)

I hate calling people =P

Okay, so I lost the paper saying when and where the sleepover is tonight, and now I have to call and ask when and where so I know where to go and when to show up ... ugh.

I'm really nervous. And having dreams in which I leave my bag of clothes and stuff at the house didn't exactly help. I don't know why ... I mean, they're just a bunch of girls my age. Why should I be nervous? I'd like to think that I can fit in if I try ... maybe it's because I haven't been to a sleepover in a while. I don't know.

Plus, I had a dream about Sam last night.

One moment we were sitting on his front porch talking, just about normal, random stuff, and then we were in the same class at college (and him sitting in front of me was highly distracting, like an Edward-Bella kind of thing), and then we were graduating, and then I was in this airport looking for him, but instead I saw a bunch of army officials carrying this flag, and they handed it to me and told me that he was dead.

Ouch. That didn't help either.

I hate it how I try to ignore stuff, but then my dreams give it right back to me. UGH. It really isn't helping my sick-to-the-stomach feeling. I have no idea why I'm being so weird about everything. I just ... am.

I'm really looking forward to later this afternoon though. All I need is my mom's permission, and then me and Heidi (my friend from CHBC) are gonna go and get ice cream and hang out for a while. I'm hoping that'll calm me down, cause as of right now, I'm a wreck.

I considered emailing Sam and telling him about my dream but ... how do you word something like that? I don't want anything to be weird between us, but it feels like anything that I say to him lately might make things weird or uncomfortable. I'm scared to death of losing him if I say something. But ... if I don't say something, will I end up losing him?

Yikes. I never thought of it that way.

I think I'll distract myself with piano. That makes me feel better, to a degree. =)

peace and lovee

MeGaN! <33>

La la la la .... 

I am a terrible, horrible, heartless human being for being so busy and NOT BLOGGING FOR WEEKS!!!!!!!!!! So naturally, I've got a couple things to ramble about. =)

So I figured out today that an email from a good friend as soon as you wake up is an essential to starting off a great day ... and anyone who knows me well enough knows that that is code for "I sent Sam an email last night just saying hey and that I miss him and he replied with this gigantic bold, underlined, italicized HI with a bunch of exclamation points". Hehehe. I kept laughing ... and Renee asked me what drug I was on. I refrained from saying what I was thinking. Hehe.

This weekend is a girl's night sleepover for all the 9th and 10th grade girls in my new youth group ... and I'm kinda nervous, cause I know all of them, but only some of them really know me. I'm beyond thankful for the AWESOME friend I've made though! That's a complete plus.

And I'm thinking of changing up my blog ... what do you think? =) I'll probably have it all done by the time someone reads this anyways ... lol

AHHH! I forgot to mention TWILIGHT! It was amazing again ... Renee went out and bought it the day it came out, and then all of us sat and watched it. Awesomeness!!! (Speaking of ... Rachel's probably watched it without me lol!)

Teen Game Night was two weeks ago. (AHHH IT'S ALREADY BEEN TWO WEEKS!!!! xO) Gosh, I just realized that I'm so weak ... haha. It was fun and a bit weird ... for the sake of my sanity, I won't try to explain the weirdness. But the fun was nice. Ahh yess, the fun. =) The only downer was that it was raining, so we had to stay inside. Oh well ... I love the rain anyways! But I did have my life "threatened" if I don't come to dance class ... haha, thanks Mary. =)

Aaaaand, I'm FINALLY getting a job this summer! I'll let you know when that is ... I can't wait!!! So if you happen to be in Chester, Virginia, come and see me!!! Haha

So I think that's everything ... I'm gonna have to work out a blogging schedule for myself haha ... laterr!!

Peace outtt

MeGaN! <33>

Kwiz timeee!

I got this quiz off Rachel's blog ... copy and paste it on yours if you feel like quizzing! =D

What is a quote you think describes you? "I've built a wall. Not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it." - Unknown

What song lyrics describe you at your best? "I met this girl who likes her heavy metal ..." xD

At your worst? "It's 2AM, feeling like I just lost a friend, Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me ..."

What phrase do people say to you a lot? The German phrase for "what is this?" ... I don't know how to spell it, but for some reason, I say it a lot. Haha

Which family member are you closest to? Not sure

Favorite type of music? Rock/Metal

If you had a choice to look into the future, would you do it? Nope, cause, knowing me, I'd do something to mess it all up. =)

What’s your favorite color? Blue, but red comes in a super close second.

Do you have a secret? Who doesn't?

What is your pet peeve? When people tap me on the shoulder. That bothers me for some unknown reason.

Who is are your closest friends? Sam, Rachel, Lindsay, Heidi, all my PGCC friends, all my friends outside of church, all my Blogger friends, and YOU! =D

What is your favorite thing to do? Make people smile.

Describe yourself in one word. Unique. =)

What makes you feel small? When I think I did good with something or I feel really good about something I did, and the person I'm trying to please isn't satisfied with it.

What was your favorite childhood memory? How long ago are we talking? 5 years ago, when I was 10 years old, sitting on my uncle and aunt's basement stairs with Mary, trying to bust two of my cousins who were trying to scare my younger cousins. That was soo much fun! That was also the first time I ever saw Sam ... =)

Do you keep a journal? I feel all Taylor Swift-y when I say that my songs ARE my journal. Those and basically anything I write. To get to know me, just read on. =)

What’s your favorite after school snack? Cookies!

What is something you’ve always wanted to try, but never did? Do I have to say? =) Weeeell, that'd be give someone something that I've had locked up in my desk for five years.

Who was your first crush? Real or imaginary? OK, let's go with real ... and anyone with a brain can figure that one out ... muahahahahahaha.

What are five things you couldn’t live without? God, my family, my friends, my memory, and music. They are the center of my world. =)

Peace & luvv
~ MeGaN
<33 xD

May 2009 is ....

...... my one year Blogger anniversary!!! Yay!!! I'm hoping to have at least 100 posts by then, and have 100 for every year, so when get on Blogger years from now, I'll have like 1,000 posts. Yays!!

Yes, the picture is random, but it's so cute! If you like it, go to Photobucket or Flickr or some picture website and search for Pon and Zi ... there are TONS of them, and they're so cute!

So yesssss ... not much to update on ... life is somewhat boring right now ... plus there have been these frequent and somewhat creepy instances that rarely happen where I just sit and think about random things until I've overthought the subject and get tired of myself. Wierd? Yes. Megan-ish? Absolutely.

Oh, and half of me (the beyond wierd half) is trying to figure out how to write a murder mystery without killing anyone, because the person I intended on being murdered has really grown on me, and I might cry if she dies now ... ah the things creative writing does to me! (And yes, Rachel, I tried your idea ... it didn't work out with the rest of the story. =))

And I have the BIGGEST and BADDEST case of writer's block the world has ever seen. Well, probably not, but it definitely feels like it! I can't think of anything to do with any of the three current projects I am working on, and it's driving me INSANE! I think I've written a sentence at least in each one. That's uber bad for me. Hopefully it goes away REAL soon, cause this is one of those life-changing moments in the life of a writer where writing should come as easy as drawing breath!

Random piece of information, but I have a little fuzzy pony figurine sitting on top of my computer screen that belongs to Hannah, and every time I look at it, an idea suddenly hits me. Creepy, but sometimes really cool. And it's not working right now. Hence the writer's block. To quote my favorite character whom I've created: Ugh.

And that's that. =)

Lotsa luvv!
~ MeGaN
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I'm baaaaack! =D

Hmm ... not sure if I've used this picture before or not, but I love it, soooo BEHOLD!!!!!

OK, sooooo I'M BAAACK!!! I know, I haven't blogged since January ... that's really sad ... I'll work extra hard to make sure that doesn't happen again!

So yeah ... wow ... where in the world has the beginning of the year gone?! I think it's finally starting to catch up to me that life is hurtling at me like a bullet from a gun, and though I try my hardest, I cannot control, neither can I alter it's speed. Which stinks sometimes, cause there are a lot of things that will happen this year that I won't be able to halt, if only for a moment, what I want to.

For example ... Renee graduates on June 18th at 3:30PM, I think. She's all excited, but I kinda feel like this is the start of our lives ... like soon, she'll be off to wherever she needs to go to get her novel published, and I'll be here ... without her! I don't know ... I mean, I know it's not like I'll never see her again, I just feel like this is the beginning of something huge that I'm not really a part of. It makes me regret taking advantage of these past 15 years. Maybe this'll do me some good after all.

I discovered last night that I wanna see the world. I sat and made a list of all the places I wanna go, places I wish I could visit. (And yes, Ali, Island Park is one of them! =D) I'm not 100% sure if I'll actually carry through with it (it all depends on what happens in the next couple of years), but I think this is something I really wanna do.

OK, have you ever had one of those times when you just randomly wonder "what am I gonna do with my life"? Well that's been the last week for me. It hit me when I remembered that I'm gonna be 16 in December. Yikes. I'm not getting any younger! So what's gonna happen if I put off thinking about these things and then at my graduation day, I think "OH MY GOSH! I need to figure out my future!" I know I've gotta do something, but that something just hasn't been made perfectly clear to me. All I know is that I have two passions when it comes to hobbies: singing and writing. Writer sounds more like it when I think of my massive stage fright, but I've always sang and wanted to sing, so I'm not sure ... I guess I'll just wait and pray on it and see where I'm being led. =)

TWILIGHT COMES OUT ON DVD THE END OF THIS MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sooooo jazzed for that! I can't wait to see it again ... I just hope that the Twilight movie night me and Rachel are planning works out, cause that would be the absolute BOMB!

And that's about it! =)

~ MeGaN
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Just UGH

I'm having a REALLY bad day today ... I'm just hoping that going to ATF tonight with my homies from the youth group (*tries to laugh*) will help me out a bit, cause seriously, I've almost never been more depressed.

In other news, I am sick, trying to fend off "brontasoratitus". Which I'm really hoping that it goes away FAST, cause the vocal auditions for the Spring Musical at my church is this Wednesday, and I can't sing, sooo yeah, I really don't want to miss out on that.

As I said before, ATF is tonight and tomorrow, and I'm pretty excited about that, cause Kutless is gonna be there, and they're one of my all-time favorite bands! I just hope that I'm allowed to go, what with having a cold and everything. Ughhh. =P

Well, that's that ... sorry for not posting in forever, I'll try to do that more often.

~ MeGaN
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This is my JAMMM!! xD

Okay, COMPLETELY forgot to say that ...

*drum roll*

I am in the choir!!!! YAY!!!

We're singing this Sunday morning, and I am REALLY nervous! Plus in late Feburary, I'm auditioning for singing some solos ... now THAT is something to be scared about! xO

But I think I'll be okay ... *takes deep breath*

Anyways, the title of this post is because in choir last Wednesday night, our director was playing the songs that we were going to be singing, and me, Renee, and Nay's friend Kelly were talking, and when our director flipped on the next song, all of a sudden Kelly turned to face him and exclaimed "THIS IS MY JAM!" really super loud. Everyone was laughing, it was great!

So now every time our favorite songs come on the radio or something, we all are like, yelling "this is my jam!" It's fun, you should try it sometime!

Plus wayy back when, remember when I said that I was gonna break out in random dance and song in the middle of random places that are not my home? Well, I've done it! I hit the mall, Wal*Mart, Target, CVS Pharmacy, and Food Lion ... it was very entertaining, to say the least. xD

That about does it! TTFN!

~ MeGaN
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((Has anybody noticed that Meg backwards is Gem? I just think that's cool! =D))

I hate to be late in posting this buuuuut ...

Okay, I am SUPERRRRR late in saying that January 4th was one of the best days in the history of the world ... Sam's birthday!!!!!! Even though he probably won't read this lol I just wanted to give a shout-out to one of my best friends ... you've been with me from the start, and I love you sooo much! Thanks for being there for me, I'll always be there for you. =)

Other than that, January's been pretty boring so far ... I haven't really done anything super-duper yet. But I can say that I have felt every possible human emotion there is to feel since 2009 started ... that's something.

Okiedokie, well you know how I said a while back that I kinda liked this guy from our church? Weeell, he's got a girlfriend, and I'm not really sure about liking anyone for right now, sooo yeppers. Which reminds me that I FINALLY became sociable, and now everyone in my class knows my name ... haha that's a BIG improvement, by the way.

So far the whole not dating thing is going smoothly. Well, no one has asked me out or anything, so obviously it's easy. But it makes it so much easier when there's no one you're crushing on, as I figured out the other day when I was thinking about it. So it's all good there! =)

And now I have a question ... have you ever had a gut feeling about something that could be the right or wrong thing to do, and you're completely not sure whether it's just you telling yourself that you should do that, or if it's really what you should do? Weell, would you do it just to see, even if it was something huge in your life, and it could seriously hurt you if it didn't work out, or would you walk away without taking the risk? I'm kinda facing that now, and I think I know what I have to do, but I'm afraid that it might just be me telling myself that it's what I'm supposed to do.

Urg. That bothers me.

OMGOSHHHHH I just remembered something! My mom is switching the plans on our phones, and when she does that, I'm getting a Rumor! Okayy, here's a picture so that you know what it looks like, just in case (it's a Sprint phone, by the way) ....

Whee! Super excited about that, considering I am sorta ashamed to pull out my phone now ... but I can't complain, cause we've had some good times together. *Nods solemnly*

I think that covers it for a couple uber exciting things happening in life at the moment ... blog ya later!

~ MeGaN
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Random quiz timeee

Okiedokie, here's me at 1 AM, loading songs onto my iPod and taking random quizzes ... yepperz, it's another day in the life of Megan =)

Aaaaaaannnnddddd thanks a bunch to Emily and fantisyboy1995 for following my blog! =D

Where is your mobile phone? Good question ... xO
Where is your significant other? Probably sleeping =)
Your hair color? Really dark brown, but my family is convinced that it's really blonde haha
Your mother? Downstairs
Your father? Lord only knows =P
Your favorite thing? Love
Your dream last night? ... Odd
Your dream goal? Heaven
The room you're in? My bedroom
Your hobby? Singing/writing
Your fear? Spiders
Where do you want to be in 6 years? Singing hallelujah ;) (think Rachel, you'll get it =))
Where were you last night? Home
What im not? Evil
One of your wish-list items? If I told you, I'd have to kill you ... jk
Where you grew up? Bridgeport, PA
The last thing you did? Suggested putting on my baseball pajamas when there's a storm going on, setting up some bases in the backyard, and run around them as fast as I can while blaring "Supermassive Black Hole" ... hehehe
What are you wearing? Awesomee pajamas
Your TV? Dead xO haha
Your pets? Bark-y
Your computer? Slowww
Your mood? Eh, I'll live
Missing someone? Every moment of my life
Your car? Non-existant
Something you're not wearing? ... Wow ... I'm wearing everything!
Favourite shop? I don't shop
Your summer? *Sighs deeply*
Love someone? Always, with all of my heart
Your favorite color? Blueee
When is the last time you laughed? Right now, so I can say that I laughed just now =)
When is the last time you cried? Couple hours ago

I love random quizzes! =D Thanksies a bunch to fantisyboy1995 for putting it on his blog, and whoever invented it.

~ MeGaN
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2009ness

Okay, I know, I know ... I haven't posted since LAST YEAR!!!! xO Wellllll ... a lot has been going on, actually ...

So far 2009 ain't so hot. But hey, it's just beginning, so there's plenty of time for awesomeness. =)

I don't do New Years resolutions, cause I never complete them, but since 12AM January 1st, I've made a big desicion. One that I wasn't counting on, but I feel strongly about. And unless God tells me otherwise, I'm sticking to it.

I am going to become an "Average Girl". Okay, I know what you're thinking: "Megan, what does that mean?" Well, I kinda used the title to an awesome Barlow Girl song called "Average Girl", that they wrote about their stand on not dating.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I, Megan, vow to not date.

"How are you going to do that Megan?"

Well, I'm just gonna live my life normally, as I've always tried to. And when the right guy comes along, I trust that I'll know when the time is right. I just don't see the point in being hurt anymore. I can't deal with pain. And losing someone that I truly and honestly love every month or so is something that I just can't do.

So that's my big decision. Like I said, unless God tells me that I am supposed to date a guy (and I mean GOD tells me this time, not MEGAN tells me this time!) I am from this moment on, and average girl. Love me or hate me ... the choice is yours. =)

Soooo. 2009. Wow. I think I'll make this simple and weigh out the pros and cons of 09 ...

YAY:

- Might be going to the movies on a "group date" this Sunday with some of my friends ... and Sam might be there =)

- (Looking ahead on this one, buuuut) I start driving in the summer!

ICK:

- I realized the other day that Renee graduates this year, and that makes me depressed to think about, cause I don't know how much longer she'll be with me! =(

- This Saturday, it will be exactly two months since I saw Sam ... I miss him like CRAZYYYYYYYYYYY

To be completely honest with you, I can't think of anything else. I feel like a fish ... FLIP! I'm okay ... FLOP! I'm not okay ... FLIP! Something awesome happens ... FLOP! Something horrible happens that makes me forget about the happy thing that just happened. And not like a fish that's near water that it can just flip right back in ... NOOOOOO ... a fish that's in the middle of the Sahara desert and has no where to flip or flop! And this fish is lo-ost if it's in the desert! Cause it is! And it's lonely!

But what if something happened that SHOULD make the fish feel like it's just been sent to a restaurant, but really, it puts it back in the water?

Okay, enough with the fish already.

What if something happened that I feel like I should feel like crap, but really, it's basically cured me and let me let go FINALLY of the stupid stuff I've been holding onto for months? And what if that involved ... oh, let's see ... just pullin' something random out of the blue here (where IS "the blue" anyways? Is that like the ocean or something? AHH ... NOT BACK TO FISH!) ... mayyybeee it has to do with ... mmm ... Jeremy getting married AND NOT TELLING ME?!?!?!!?

Haha. Yeah.

And I should feel like complete CRAP over it but, in all honesty, I don't. I actually feel ... OKAY ... about this. It's totally fine. And when I say "I don't care", I actually MEAN it, not like I just say it to cover the obvious fact that I do care ... cause I just ... don't. And that's new for me. I finally just let go, and I cannot BEGIN to tell you how free I feel!!!! I'm free to make a new start, to just forget everything and start all over. And that feels really good.

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was one of the bestest days in the world, but you'll have to see the next post, cause I wanna make a special one! =D

Sunday we started a new Bible study based around the Tim McGraw song "Live Like You Were Dying". All morbid-ness aside, what if you were going to die at the end of this month? What would you do differently? Would anything change? What would you spend the rest of the month doing?

I have vowed to live like I was dying. Not just in January, but in EVERY month of the year. Because it's really important, and I think that has a lot to do with the whole "letting go and not caring at all" thing ... it's not my job to say anything at all, or know anything at all, or take any action whatsoever ... and now I'm gonna live like I was dying. Cause, well, I am. Every day it comes closer. I don't know when or how ... but all I know is that when it does happen, I wanna know that I lived like every day was my last.

And THAT is my one and only New Years resolution ... to live like I was dying. And if it comes that easy, then there should be no trouble keeping this one.

Loooovers you all!! =D

~ MeGaN

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