Meggy's Songbook! - Let You In

LET YOU IN

That’s what I get for letting someone get to me
That’s what I get for letting someone hurt me
That’s what I get for letting you get to me
That’s what I get for letting you use me
Don’t wanna go back Cause it’s a nightmare
But at the same time I want you to be there

Give me one good reason
Give me one last chance
Give me one last resort
And I’ll let you in

That’s what I deserve for getting into
That’s what I deserve for hurting you
Oh the crazy things that we do for love
It makes us do things we wouldn’t otherwise do

Give me one good reason
Give me one last chance
Give me one last resort
And I’ll let you in
Give me one last try
I want you in my life
Give me just one good reason
And I’ll let you back in

I cut myself too deep
Cried myself to sleep
You can’t give me a reason to let you back
In

Chorus (x1)

Add instead of last "And I’ll let you back in":

And I’ll let you back
Against my better judgement
I’ll let you back
Let you back
Let you back
I’ll let you back in

thend

--------------
Unlike my other songs, there was no inspiration for this one ... just words that I thought would make a good song. Enjoy!

~MeGgY
<33 =D

Laugh it off ... laugh it off ...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA, MAN!!!!!!!!

Yupp. Laughing it all off. Absolutely EVERYTHING!!!!!!
It works, you should try it.

K, so bout last night's posts ...
Ugh. Flip-flopping SO unhealthy.
I don't know ... have you ever gotten stuck in a situation where you're in l0ve with two very seperate people, when you know that you have no chance with one, but the other you're not sure if he loves you or not?
Ugh.
Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh!
And then something happens like BA>>BAMM, and you're suddenly thrown quite uncomfortably, I might add, into a deep, burning, insanely jealous state, and it could wreck so many things that you hold dear? And you KNOW that it's wrong to be jealous, but at the same time you can't let go of it no matter what you do? AND AND AND AAAAANNNNDDD, you know that it's really quite useless to be jealous anyways, because you know that you've got no chance with the boy, but after all these years, you see a window of opportunity to tell him how you feel about him, and see if he truly does riciprocate your feelings or not, and then that window is so terribly cracked by the people holding him back and telling him that liking you is wrong? And then you realize that this is ridiculous how you're letting this eat you alive, because it's really nothing. But you just can't shake that sick-to-the-stomach-terrible-jealousy feeling that you get every time you think about it. It sucks, doesn't it? Then on to the next thing: You realize that jealousy has destroyed all things in your life that should be left untouched. So why wreck things even worse by being jealous of someone you love very very much? BUUUUUT, there's that sicky feeling again when you think about it. And THEN you realize that you're too nice to say anything mean about it, so you keep your feelings to yourself, because you know that even if you DID have the capacity to say something mean about it, you would realize that it would hurt the person you were saying it about, and that would kill you inside out. And finally, you come to the conclusion that you cannot flip-flop between boys, because if you do that, you're gonna lose both of them in the long run. Because the more you rediscover your feelings for the one you don't have a chance with, the more intense the feelings are going to be next time you see the one who may or may not love you anymore.

Bottom line: Love stinks.

Maybe I'm being ridiculous. Maybe I should just let go of it all and be a normal person, (well, as normal as I can get, anyways), instead of letting things like this eat me alive. You know what? I'm gonna let go of it right now. Who cares about it anyways? I should be HAPPY, not jealous. I should be holding onto one of the few wonderful friendships I have left, not dangling it over a pit of crocodiles. This is it. I'm letting go. It no longer matters. I choose to hold onto my friendship rather than ruin it over someone I have no chance with. We're best friends for life. Nothing should change that. Forever and ever. Boo-yah. It worked.

Oh man. Discovery time:

I have issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =O

~ MeGgY
<33 =D

Song Of The Moment

WORDS I COULDN'T SAY
By: Rascal Flatts

In a book in a box in the closet
In a line in a song I once heard
In a moment on a front porch late one June
In a breath inside, a whisper beneath the moon
There it was at the tip of my fingers
There it was on the tip of my tongue
There you were and I had never been that far
There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms
AND I LET IT ALL SLIP AWAY ...

What do I do now that you're gone?
No backup plan, no second chance
AND NO ONE ELSE TO BLAME
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
Mmmhm

There's a rain that'll never stop falling
There's a wall that I've tried to take down
What I should've said just wouldn't pass my lips
So I held back, and now we've come to this
AND IT'S TOO LATE NOW ...

What do I do now that you're gone?
No backup plan, no second chance
AND NO ONE ELSE TO BLAME
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
Yeah
Are the words I couldn't say!

I SHOULD'VE FOUND A WAY TO TELL YOU HOW I FELT
NOW THE ONLY ONE I'M TELLING IS MYSELF ...

What do I do now that you're gone?!
NO backup plan, NO second chance,
AND NO ONE ELSE TO BLAME ...
All I can hear in the silence that remains
Are the words I couldn't say
What do I do?!
What do I say?!
(And no one else to blame)
All I can hear in the silence that remains
ARE THE WORDS I COULDN'T SAY

thend

>> LOVE STINKS.
- Megan

Hmm, how I feel right now ......

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!!!!!!!

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH!!!!!

WHAT THE HECK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

!!!!!

!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CURSE THE LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Nuff said. Please don't ask.

~ A very agry/upset/confused Megan

The King And I ...

Okay, I think I mentioned in the past about Sam being called "The King"? (Self-titled, by the way ... he's CRAZY!) Weeeell, I got into a email convo with him tonight ... so I figured I'd let you all in on the secret ... NOTE: Anything that's italicized like thiiis ... blah blah blahhh ... is not part of the message that it follows ... just a side note from me!

Sam: whats going on
Me: ... that depends on what you mean by "whats going on" ..........
Sam: are you leaving the cherch. (<--- must. resist. urge. to. correct. typo. !!!.)
Me: no. we already left. (I get VERY VERY sad at this point and end the dreadful sentances in periods.)
Sam: are you going to a nuther church.
Me: i dont know ... we havent decided yet
Me (again, yes, I know ...): all i know for sure is that we're never coming back to pgcc
Sam: never ever (poor Sam ... =::(:::)
Me:
no =::(:::

who told you?
Sam: who told me what (kinda clueless, but I wouldn't have him any other way! =))
Me: that we were leaving
Sam: rachel c
Me: okay... i thought so, but i wasn't sure ... i dont know how many people know
Sam: my fam, martins. rachel.
Me:
ok .......

im really gonna miss you....... (*insert BIG sniffles here*)
Sam: im gunna miss you to...................a lot


ps. if you ever need to talk just email or call.

ps.ps or come and hang at my house. (ALRIGHT, I'm crying openly at this point .... =O bwahahahahaha!!!!!!!!)
Me:
thanks ... your the best friend i could have asked for and more =)

same here ........ if you ever need ANYTHING in the world, im here for you
Sam: think you. talk to you soon (typo typo TYPO!)
Me:
my pleasure. okay ... talk to you REAL soon ... cant go too long without talking to you haha

~ megan
=) <3

the end.

I'll post the whole story tomorrow ... I am supah tired!!!!!

PEACE OUT Y'ALL!
~ MeGgY
=D <33

so bored

So bored is right!

I am currently ...

- Blogging ... duh
- Listening to Taylor Swift's new song "Love Story" (I'm in love with that song lol) and Hannah playing The Lord Of The Rings on the PS2
- Doing a whole buncha nothing!!!!!!!

Me and my family will be going to PA soon for my aunt's funeral. The doctors gave her about two weeks ... she didn't recognize anyone who came to visit her yesterday. I hate goodbyes.
But it's not really goodbye ... I'll see her again someday. I just wish I didn't have to say "see you later". But that's kinda selfish of me ... she'll have a wonderful time up there. We'll just have to know that down here, that's all.

- MeGgY
=D <33

Meggy Update =P

- As of last night, we officially left PGCC.
- The feeling of being church-less is strikingly like being homeless.
- I am not going to Teen Game Night tonight on account of it being at Sam's house, and his dad is the reason we left the church.
- Speaking of, Sam's probably not going to be allowed to see or speak to me for a VERY long time
- But on the bright side, if he comes to the next TGNs, I'll get to see him once every month
during the school year!
- But then again, I don't think that he will be allowed to go if I'm there ...
- Hmm ... maybe I can tell him that I won't be attending anymore, and then I'll show up and we can chill!
- No ... that would be lying ...
- Curse my consience. It's so irritating sometimes.
- I spelled consience wrong.
- It's actually "conscience".
- ANYWHOO ... maybe he WILL be allowed to go ...
- Oh crap. His dad will probably come to watch his every move!
- It's not healthy for me to harbor so much anger towards a person. Someone could get hurt.
- But I have forgiven him.
- Though it took EVERY OUNCE OF WILLPOWER THAT I HAD ...
- I did it.
- I think that this is going to be a LOOONG rest of the year.
- My aunt in PA is dying of cancer.
- We're going to see her VERY soon, cuz she wants to see us one last time.
- Thinking about that hurts.
- A lot.
- I'm wondering if I could get away with kidnapping Sam when I start driving ...
- No, his dad would have me arrested ...
- Probably by MY dad ...
- Dang.
- Life sucks right now.
- I feel terrible that I dragged Jeremy into this too ...
- Cuz he was on the computer with Sam's dad talking over the whole drum thing, and telling me what was going on over the phone ...
- Sam's dad freaked out on him basically ...
- How can anyone be so heartless as to freak out on Jeremy?!
- That's what I wanna know.
- Oh no he did-n't.
- On a somewhat brighter note, this has brought me and Jeremy back to talking status ...
- He stood up for me and my family when he was talking to Sam's dad ...
- Cuz he said a bunch of stuff, trying to trash my family ...
- To Jeremy.
- BAD.
- IDEA.
- Jeremy freaked.
- Haha. I think that was kinda funny.
- This is a long post
- But I don't care.
- It's funnn. =)
- I don't know where we are going this Sunday.
- I think that we're taking Lindsay and Olivia (Nay's BFF), and possibly Rachel to BuschGardens for the day ...
- But I'm not sure if we'll be able to swing by church and pick them all up ...
- Well, actually, there is one way ...
- We're driving down Prince George Drive ...
- And they're standing on the side of the road, at the foot of the slopie thing ...
- And then they jump onto the hood of the van ...
- Climb across to the door all Tarzan-like ...
- My mom opens the door ...
- Ba-BAMM ... they're in!
- It's brilliant.
- ...
- Okay. Maybe not so brilliant ...
- Haha.
- Omg this is long.
- But I'm still having funn. =)


Hope you're all having an awesome week!!!!
Luvv,
~ MeGgY
=D <33

"Why, of all the ... !!!!!!!"

Haha. I am ranting and raving now. ;)

So today our youth leader sent my mom an email, saying that Jeremy is not allowed to play the drums for us for Youth Sunday unless he attends at least four Seeker activities. And he said he's probably not going to be allowed to go to a different church. Especially mine.

Again with the roaring ...

So, we began to rant and rave about how that was just not cool. And we came up with ....

"Why, of all the unfair, uproarious, sneaky, foul, terrible, hateful, mean, slimy, snake-like, miserable, monsterous, hideous, unforgiveable, stunt-pulling things in the HISTORY OF FOREVER ... !!!!!!!"

True story. ;)

I just pray that this somehow works out. We were "so essited" (<-- haha Jeremy's word) about it, and now it's going to be next to impossible.

Dang.

Oh, on a happier note ...

You remember me saying something in a VERY earlier post about Teen Game Nights in the homeschooling group? (That's what I was attending when Jeremy and I first met ... ahh, the memories! ;)) Well, they start again this Saturday!!!! Once every month. It kinda scares me that it's going to be at Sam's house, and that Jeremy said (in between me saying "What did we do to deserve this anyways?!" and him saying "I have no idea!") that he was going to talk to the youth leader about this whole drumming thing ...

Ouch. Maybe that's not such a happier note.

Ahh well. It'll be okay, because I'm gonna have his back. Actually, he told me that I should probably hold him back ...

Oh man.

~ Meggy
=D <33

What Happens In Chick-Fil-A ....

... stays in Chick-Fil-A.

Haha, nooooo ... nothing bad happened. Actually, today me and Hannah spent the majority of our day at CFA. (Seriously, from 10am to 3:30pm. Non-stop CFA funness, man!!!! =D) We got free breakfast and lunch, my mom and Nay were working the front counter, Jeremy was cleaning the dining room the whole time we were there, stopping by at our table every 5 seconds to chat since the place was dead ...

Ahh yessss. The good stuff in life. ;)

~ Meggy
=D <33

Yay Hanna!!! =D

Ooo, look how pretty! Haha sorry ... I went template surfing today and found this one. I love it!!!!

And now to explain the post title ... thanks to Tropical Storm Hanna, it's finally raining in Virginia!!!!! My favorite weather!!!!!! Yipee!!!!

Oh, before I forget ... I'm gonna be in a play!!! More details on that one once I get them!!!

Hope you're having one rockin' day!!!!!

~ Meggy
=D <33

HOLY CROW!!!!

IT'S SEPTEMBER ALREADY?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?! WHERE DID 2008 GO SO FAST?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Haha. Yes, I just realized that.

~ Meg =D

Dang.

HOW.
CAN.
ANYONE.
BE.
SO.
HEARTLESS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

I don't even know. I mean, he tries to screw up my mom, and she's fighting back. He tries to break down my older sister, and she's doing the same as my mom. He goes after me, and SCREWS UP MY CHANCES WITH JEREMY!!!!!

Grr.

ROAR.

ROOOOOOOOAAAARRR!!!!!!!!

And the worst part? He's not only my best friend's dad, but the Youth Leader at the church we go to! Now he's just screwing with my head ... he doesn't like me and Jeremy being together, because he doesn't believe in us dating so young (it's not like that's any of his business anyways!!), so he goes and sabatoges that, and is now pushing me and his son (my dear BFF Sam) together. (After all I'm doing to hold our friendship together because he's jealous. It's fragile enough already without anyone's "help"!) But he's already made it VERY clear that he will die before he sees me and Sam become anything more than friends, so pretty soon he's gonna try to push me and Jeremy back together.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOMEONE STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!! =O

And all this time I've been so CLUELESS as to all this ... I only figured it out two days ago.

Completely oblivious.

Dang.

That SO explains SO MUCH: The weird, distant way Jeremy's been acting, the same weird way that Sam's been acting, how Jeremy told me in our last conversation that "I have nothing to worry about" and that "he still loves me the same he always has, and that he always will", and Sam's advice, including "trust me on this one, Megan ... you didn't do anything wrong".

Oh. My. Gosh. Why can't people just mind their own business? I can't believe that we all still call it a church ... it's full of nothing but hearts broken, minds bended, and spirits crushed from gossip, lies, and betrayal.

And that's the honest to goodness truth. There's nothing left to be desired there. I can't believe that we're STILL there!

My mom told me, Nay, and Han that she is prepared to leave. I think that this is good timing too, because we just recently visited Jeremy's dad's church, and I think that's where we'll go once we leave. That makes me SO HAPPY!!! I've seen Jeremy three times already this week ... I hope and pray that this keeps up ... I love seeing his face light up whenever he sees me. It makes me remember the Jeremy I knew before this new, depressed Jeremy ... the one I fell in love with.

But something strange about PGCC is that I have found is that I am making friends with people that I never got along with before. And I feel like the ones that I have gotten along with are at risk of getting yanked away from me. And after last night at church ...

I don't know. I just have a really bad feeling.

~ Meggy-Boo
(who, in the midst of this, is still smiling!!! =D)