Anxiety

The picture really has nothing to do with the post ... I was looking for something different on Flickr, and I found this ... I love it!

So last night was okay ... I wasn't as social as I wanted to be, but everyone had a friend, and it felt rude of me to just walk up and start talking to them when they're talking about stuff they did last year ... yeah. Kinda awkward. And then when I was actually invited to do stuff personally, I held back. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm just hoping that my mom will say yes to the other sleepover, cause I need to be around people I know for a change. That'd be nice.

The dreams pursue. Renee putting in her Carrie Underwood CD didn't help much ... Just A Dream was the last song I wanted to hear. I don't know. So many things I wish I could look ahead and see what's going to happen.

For example ... the random thing I did yesterday is rushing at me at the speed of light. Good golly. I didn't think I would have this much anxiety as to what happens next. Or maybe that's fear ...

Either or, I feel slightly sick.

Ah, how I always pictured the random scenarios ... definitely not like how it actually happened. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea ... but I honestly don't think it was mine. I have no idea why I decided to do it, or why I went this route, or much of anything, to be blank.

And maybe it's time to wrap this post up before I say anything else as a random side note that could alter the course of my future. =)

loveee

MeGaN! <33>