Laugh it off ... laugh it off ...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA, MAN!!!!!!!!

Yupp. Laughing it all off. Absolutely EVERYTHING!!!!!!
It works, you should try it.

K, so bout last night's posts ...
Ugh. Flip-flopping SO unhealthy.
I don't know ... have you ever gotten stuck in a situation where you're in l0ve with two very seperate people, when you know that you have no chance with one, but the other you're not sure if he loves you or not?
Ugh.
Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh!
And then something happens like BA>>BAMM, and you're suddenly thrown quite uncomfortably, I might add, into a deep, burning, insanely jealous state, and it could wreck so many things that you hold dear? And you KNOW that it's wrong to be jealous, but at the same time you can't let go of it no matter what you do? AND AND AND AAAAANNNNDDD, you know that it's really quite useless to be jealous anyways, because you know that you've got no chance with the boy, but after all these years, you see a window of opportunity to tell him how you feel about him, and see if he truly does riciprocate your feelings or not, and then that window is so terribly cracked by the people holding him back and telling him that liking you is wrong? And then you realize that this is ridiculous how you're letting this eat you alive, because it's really nothing. But you just can't shake that sick-to-the-stomach-terrible-jealousy feeling that you get every time you think about it. It sucks, doesn't it? Then on to the next thing: You realize that jealousy has destroyed all things in your life that should be left untouched. So why wreck things even worse by being jealous of someone you love very very much? BUUUUUT, there's that sicky feeling again when you think about it. And THEN you realize that you're too nice to say anything mean about it, so you keep your feelings to yourself, because you know that even if you DID have the capacity to say something mean about it, you would realize that it would hurt the person you were saying it about, and that would kill you inside out. And finally, you come to the conclusion that you cannot flip-flop between boys, because if you do that, you're gonna lose both of them in the long run. Because the more you rediscover your feelings for the one you don't have a chance with, the more intense the feelings are going to be next time you see the one who may or may not love you anymore.

Bottom line: Love stinks.

Maybe I'm being ridiculous. Maybe I should just let go of it all and be a normal person, (well, as normal as I can get, anyways), instead of letting things like this eat me alive. You know what? I'm gonna let go of it right now. Who cares about it anyways? I should be HAPPY, not jealous. I should be holding onto one of the few wonderful friendships I have left, not dangling it over a pit of crocodiles. This is it. I'm letting go. It no longer matters. I choose to hold onto my friendship rather than ruin it over someone I have no chance with. We're best friends for life. Nothing should change that. Forever and ever. Boo-yah. It worked.

Oh man. Discovery time:

I have issues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =O

~ MeGgY
<33 =D